Wednesday, April 29, 2015

Very Sad News.

Hello all,

Feria's Mom here. I have some very sad news. Lately, Feria hadn't been feeling so good, so her Dad and I took her to the vet and was shocked and devastated by some very sad news. Feria had cancer. The vet wasn't sure where the cancer was, but knew one simple thing: It didn't really matter what we did... she wasn't going to make it. Her health quickly declined from there. Very quickly. Within 3 days, her Dad and I said goodbye, and had to let her go. Captain Feria Furball, died April 18th, in the afternoon. She was loved by all. And I know she was loved by all of you too. We are all going to miss her. But one thing does comfort me. Not the thought of being able to see her again, but solely the fact that Feria is immortal. She will forever live in our hearts. Always. Her presence, this blog, will always be here (as long as they don't shut down Blogger), for those of us to read and chuckle and cry and most of all remember. Remember her and never forget her. No matter what. And while the world is just a bit less bright now that shes gone, she will forever live on in our hearts.

We love you Feria. Always, now, and forever.

Tuesday, December 30, 2014

A Long Awaited Update! :D

Hello all!!! Guess whose back?!

Yes, yes, it is I, Captian Feria Furball of the confiscated Turkey of the Sea!! My oh my, how I miss my boat, and how I miss all my friends from the sea.

I miss all of you. Last I heard good ol Jackman was caught stealing lunches and was shot with a tranquilizer dart and put in the San Francisco Zoo.

Black Bart, still just as cool as ever (cool as in a sell-out dog that murders people on the high sea. He is one of the only dogs I will ever tolerate). Last I heard from Black Bart, he was robbing banks outside of Pittsburgh. 
(glasses used to hide his identity)

Nutt de Leon! What a crazy guy. He's in some monastery in Tibet . He thought that the ghost of Lizzie Borden was haunting him. He's found inner peace that some of us only dream to find!

Squeeks, my old chap! He's taken up modeling! His long legs are his big selling point, but he's constantly asked to lose weight in his midsection. Here is one of his more risque shots. Stunning!

Neptune's Revenge... ahh. The only other female to accompany me on the high seas. Her and I never did get along too well. Last I heard she was working as a waitress in a truck stop... how dull!

Calico Jack! Calico Jack! I see him every day. He still wanders around the apartment complex where I live, and plays cards with me and Pugwash sometimes.

Vicious Frank decided to join the military and was sent overseas. Vicious Frank died on a Thursday. It was a warm and sunny day. It's sad, because who would remember just a squirrel? A squirrel that gave his life for his country. I will remember you, Vicious Frank, not to be confused with Frank the Squirrel!!

Pugwash the Bloody also hangs out and plays cards with me. The little fella has grown up quite a bit. He spends most of his days drinking now, and smoking. Bleh, I refuse to let him smoke when we play cards together. *cough cough* I think I can even smell him smoking now.

And last, and definitely LEAST, First Mate Nosegoop. WHY OH WHY DID I CHOOSE A DOG FOR A FIRST MATE?! Freaking sell-outs! Anyways, I won't even tell you what HE'S been up to. I'll let you guys guess!

Wow, it's pretty amazing all of the different paths that they have taken! And then there's me! What have I been up to? Well let's see... I have found a new way to express myself, and a way I can go on more adventures without ever having to leave the house!

Ladies and Gentlemen, I present to you!
Feria's YouTube Channel!

I hope to see you all there! And to those of you coming here from over there, I say a mighty hello and welcome! Please look around my blog and read up on some of my many adventures if you so desire!

Have fun guys! and I shall update more later!

- Captain Feria

Wednesday, April 17, 2013

Careful Planning

Holy Moly! Has it really been over a year since I've been able to sit down and update my blog? Unbelievable! I don't see how it's been so long!

First and foremost, my beloved fans, I can honestly say that I have missed you all terribly! I hope that you can forgive my long absence, as I have been one very busy kitty! I even received flowers from one of my fans!

Yay me! :D


I shall get into all those adventures shortly, but I have been receiving emails like crazy from all of my thousands of fans... okay... maybe a couple emails... okay... alright, fine! My uncle Brett wants to know what happened to Frank!! Okay! Happy? So we are going to be talking about my dear ol friend, err um, I mean dinner... Frank the Squirrel. My neighbor... not to be confused with Vicious Frank my scurvy squirrel!

So, a few months ago, I saw Frank again. I thought he had maybe moved away or something. He was playing cards with a few friends I guess. I approached slowly as to not cause alarm.

"Hey Frank," I said quietly, trying to not sound too hungry... errr um, I mean too excited.
"Hey... um, cat. What's your name, anyways?" Frank replied.
"Feria," I said.
"Fairy-who?" Frank asked.
"F-E-R-I-A," I said. "Feria."
"Oh, ok," Frank said as he returned to his cards.
"Can I play with you guys, Frank?" I asked.
"Um, no. Not right now anyway," Frank replied. "Go find someone else to bother."

I was hurt. And hungrier than ever! I needed to find a way to catch this demon. This demon with a fluffy tail....

So I made a phone call....

"Hello there, 'Humane Squirrel Traps Online' how may I help you?"
"Yes, I need to catch my dinner... errr um... I mean, I need to catch a squirrel that's in my yard"
There was a long pause.
"Your dinner?"
"Yes... err um, I mean no. No."
Another pause.
"Well what is it, yes or no? And just so you are aware, we don't sell our traps to people who eat squirrels, we provide all information so that the squirrel can be relocated to an area near you."
I pause for a moment, thinking.
"I just need to get rid of Frank. I mean, the squirrel."
"You named the squirrel?" covered laughter on the line. "Are you sure you want to get rid of it after all?"
"Listen lady, I've got my Mom's, I mean, my credit card here wanting to make a purchase of one of your squirrel traps. Are we going to do business or what??"
An even longer pause.
"Can I get your zip code please?"

Now I just need to wait 7-10 business days.... err wait! I've got Mom's credit card!

Another call.
"Hello there, 'Humane Squirrel Traps Online' how may I help you?"
"Hi! I need to upgrade my order for express shipping."
"That will be $44.95 for 2 day shipping. Your order total is now $103.73."
"Okay, thanks, bye!"

Mwhahaha... This is going to be good!

Monday, March 12, 2012

"Death by Turtles" Part 1

Hi everyone, all of my dearly devoted fans!! I have missed you all very much! I have been very busy with my new job. I won't disclose what that job is, because I know my Dad tends to read my blog. But needless to say, it is a good one!

So, this last Friday night, I was up kinda later than usual. Mom and Dad had already gone to bed, so you know it must've been pretty late. I wasn't the least bit tired, so I figured I'd browse through and watch some of the movies Mom and Dad own. I found Momma's Asian horror collection, figured "Why not?!" and popped Ju-On: The Grudge into the DVD player.

2 hours later:

I am my Momma's daughter.

Those movies are something else though, I tell ya. I am afraid of no beast, cept for turtles, but those big black eyes and pale skin... *shivers* They remind me... well, of turtles to be honest.

Soooo scary! :(

More to come soon!

Sunday, January 22, 2012

Gotta Do The Cooking By The Book!

Hello my fine friends and readers! It has been far too long since I have updated my Blog! I thought I would share with you all what I have been up to! First of all, I got my own computer! Well, I got my Mom's old computer, but it was almost brand new! So its mine now! *cackle* I've been having most fun with it! Mostly playing first person shooters!

I'm ranked! You should check it out!

Well, I've been thinking about what I should talk about, considering its been so long since I have updated, and I decided that I shall talk about something near and dear to my heart. FOOD! and EATING! Nom nom nom!

So lately, I have been trying my hand in the kitchen. I've been learning various prep-work chores without opposable thumbs! So so much fun!! Peeling carrots and cutting up onions has been a real treat!

I have been trying various recipes I have seen on the Food Network channel. Things like: BBQ Beef Short Ribs with Dry Sherry-Ginger Marinade and Barbecued Chicken Legs with Mustard-Wine. The art of mastering the BBQing of the chicken has been challenging, but I have done very well!

But of all these things, I can honestly say baking has been the most fun. Because I can whip something up, and then go frag a bunch of unsuspecting newbs. And at the end of that, I get a big yummy piece of goodness! Mom insisted on taking my picture for one of my baking sessions! She's quite the character!

Prep work for baking has also been a bit of a challenge. Next time you get a chance, turn into a cat for a day and try to open an egg. It takes such careful attention to detail for everything to be just right. And! I will also show you what my special, secret ingredient is when adding flour!

Yes yes, things have been most wonderful in my life as of late! I've got my computer, my first person shooter, and my cooking. And I also have you my viewers! Who says you can't have your cake and eat it too?

Friday, July 8, 2011

Holy Mackerel its... wait... mmm fish.

Round and round we go maties, where we stop, no one will ever know!

Wow, its been quite some time since I decided to stop by and say a merry ello to all of you! Things have been crazy busy. Crazy crazy busy.
Its been pretty warm out here for the last few days. So much so that I've been having to try and find creative solutions to stay cool.

So on another note, I did get together with Jakman like I said I was going to so long ago. We've been having lots of fun him and I... Its quite amazing how willing people are to give you their lunch when you have a big ass bear lumbering behind you!! People just kinda give up on their lunches at that point and run away... Which I thought I read somewhere that you aren't supposed to run when you see a bear, that you are supposed to curl up into a ball or something. Funny humans.

So I did finally lose my job at Hooters. The found out I was visiting my Mom's momma in prison and doing shows for the guards for tips and they didn't like it.
So speaking of prison, it's actually pretty damn cool! I get my own bed and everything! I normally have to share it with my Mom and Dad, but this way, its my own space! The guards are dicks, but I guess that's unavoidable. But the inmates, apart from a few of them, most of them are just normal, everyday people. Well, they give me turkey and chicken and stuff so that's a plus.

Okay, so except for those ones... hehe.

So, yesterday it was a really really hot day. At least for me, it was. I've got this gorgeous coat that I have to wear all day. I've asked Mom and Dad for more than a Brazilian when they take me to the vet, but they never listen. I've never gotten more tips than when.... ok ok, I'll hush it up, lol. Man, I miss my job at Hooters. I'm going to see if I can get it back.

Aaaaaaaandddd I'm offfffff!

Thursday, February 3, 2011

February is Here!

February is here! February is here!

This is probably my favorite month of them all! The weather is still nice and cold, so there's lots of snuggles and garages (I'll explain this in a moment), but since the holidays are over, so no ones comin' over, and Mom and Dad aren't going anywheres. Perfect for me and my schemes!

I was hanging out yesterday evening, and Dad had his blanket thing going on. Now a garage is when Daddy tents the blanket and lets me crawl inside and get nice warm cuddles and snuggles. Trust me, it makes sense if you were to see it. I usually cuddle with him for awhile, but then, when he least expects it, I get outta there. I like to mix things up a bit. Me? Predictable? NEVER! Sometimes I sit on the outside of the blanket and meow at him to make him think I really want in, but I DON'T! And when he tries to let me in, I show no interest in it at all. Because that's how I roll.

So yeah, not to get off track or anything. I just wanted to share that with you guys. Humans are the most gullible creatures I think I've ever met. They assume so much about animals, even though animals never talk to them. My Mom is a little on the nutty side about this. She even uses a voice for me... a voice for ME!? That's insane! I'm not as cookie cutter simple as she makes me out to be! I'm Feria! Captain Feria of the Turkey of the Sea! Now some of the stuff she says is interpretation, meaning that I do say and feel alot of the stuff she says. But I don't sing as much as she says I do, and I certainly don't say "I love you" as much as she says that I do. And I don't say "thank you", either! "Thank you", is a human word, a human concept. I don't understand it, and I probably never will. "Thank you" basically means, "Give me more" to me anyways, so why not just say "give me more"? Makes no sense to me. Anyways, let me tell you about my day today.

Today was an interesting day.

I got to spend the day with: Jackman!

More to come... later!