Wednesday, February 24, 2010

A Conversation

Today I made contact. With the window open ever so slightly,

I said,
"Psst. Pssst. Hey! Hey, over here."

Frank the squirrel turned and looked at me curiously.

"Uh, yeah, hi, what do you want?" Frank the squirrel asked excitedly.

I thought for some time how else to describe how a squirrel might speak. Frank talks so fast you can hardly understand him. Like hes had about 6 and a half cups of coffee. Excitedly is all I can come up with to describe this hyper twitchiness.

So I said to him,
"I've seen you around. You wanna come over? I have a bunch of other friends over and we need a 4th person to play pinochle so we can play teams."

Frank looked at me somewhat nervously.
"You normally look at me hungrily, drooling and licking your lips. Uh, are you sure you aren't trying to invite me over to be dinner?" Frank quickly said and began to back away.

"Hey, wait come back, I don't even know your name!" I said frantically.

"My name is Charles. But most people call me Charlie." Frank the squirrel said.

"Can I call you Frank? I had a really good friend some time ago named Frank."

Frank seemed to think about this for a moment before replying. He nodded.
"I guess so. But I'm not coming over until I know its safe," and with that, Frank the squirrel disappeared back up the tree.

Blast it. I still have much work ahead of me. But at least I made contact today.
I think in order for me to get to know Frank better, I need to find a way.

A way to get outside.

Tuesday, February 9, 2010

My Friend, Frank

I apologize that I haven't been updating the last few days. My Mom has been using her computer just about non-stop updating her poetry, so I haven't been allowed to update anything.

So here's the deal...
I am still thinking of the perfect master plan to get this squirrel...
So far I have come up with this.

The squirrel has been named.
He will be known as Frank.

Why Frank, you may ask?
Well, I had this other friend, see?
This friend was viciously killed by my Daddy.
Poor Frank was a spider, and he was my bestest friend in the whole wide world!
Mommy just happens to be really afraid of spiders, so Daddy made Frank ride the lightning :(
Not my happiest day, I tell you. I still miss Frank.
Every day, I wonder if there is a Spider Heaven.
Will I see you again, my Frank? :(
I miss you so very much.

So anyways, I am naming this squirrel after Frank because I think the best way for me to infiltrate his defenses is for him to think that I am his bestest friend.
At least, that's what I think.
So now I need to come up with a way for me to try and befriend this squirrel from hell.
Since the weather has been getting a bit warmer, I could probably call out to him from the open window in the bedroom. I think its a good shot anyways.
Either that, or somehow find his email address or Facebook profile.
I will keep you up to date on this situation.

Monday, February 1, 2010

The Thought

For some time now, I have watched him...
He teasingly jumps from branch to branch.
I need to find a way to make him pay for his atrocities.
His evils...
Sure, you may think he looks so cute, sitting there.
Taunting me.
There is evil there.
Sometimes, being so cute, can be demonic.
He will pay for his deeds.
And his evil fluffy tail...
I will come up with something.