Thursday, April 1, 2010

Turkey Sammich, please! Just the Meat!

I haven't been able to get outside since my big adventure. Unknowingly to me, my Mommy reads my blog, and grounded me ever since my last adventure. So, since then, I have been a little distracted from my ingenious plans on getting Frank.


I called Subway the other day. I wanted to see if they could make me one of those giant subway sammiches usually for catered events. I needed to get it ordered special... Our conversation went something like this:

"Thank you for calling Subway, this is Ryan. Can I help you?"
"Uh yeah, can I get one of those big sammiches? Like the ones for catered events?"
"Yeah, we can do that. Can I get your name please?"
"Uh yeah, my name is Feria."
"Uh, Feria? How do you spell that?"
"Okay... What kind of meat were you looking for on this sandwich?"
Excitedly I yelped, "Turkey!!"
"Okay, turkey. What kind of cheese?"
"Oh, uh, no cheese."
"Um, no vegetables."
"Mustard? Mayo?"
"No thanks."
"Oh yeah, what kind of bread?"
"Um, no bread, please."
"What do you mean, no bread?"
"I mean what I said. No bread."
"So what, does that mean you just want meat?"
"Yes, please."
"I don't know how to ring that up."
"Well, then find someone who does."
"Okay, hold on a second."
Hold music. The classical music kind.
"Hi this is Eric, the manager. Who am I speaking with?"
"Hi, what exactly is it that you want? Ryan said you wanted one of our catered subs. But that you just wanted meat. Is that right?"
"Well, what kind of bread?"
"No bread, please."
"What do you mean, no bread?"
"I mean, no bread."
"We don't do that here."
"Why is that?"
"We never have. You need to order it on a bread."
"But I don't want bread."
"Listen, I don't have time for this. Are you going to make an order with bread or not?"
"But I don't eat bread. I just want Turkey."
"Why don't you just go buy lunch meat then?"
"Because I'm grounded."
"You're grounded?"
"I don't have time for this. This is obviously a prank call. Goodbye, and don't call back."
"Wait!!" I yelled as I heard that hang up clicky noise.

Seriously how rude can you get! I bet I would have better luck if I tried Togos! I will do just that!