Friday, July 8, 2011

Holy Mackerel its... wait... mmm fish.

Round and round we go maties, where we stop, no one will ever know!

Wow, its been quite some time since I decided to stop by and say a merry ello to all of you! Things have been crazy busy. Crazy crazy busy.
Its been pretty warm out here for the last few days. So much so that I've been having to try and find creative solutions to stay cool.

So on another note, I did get together with Jakman like I said I was going to so long ago. We've been having lots of fun him and I... Its quite amazing how willing people are to give you their lunch when you have a big ass bear lumbering behind you!! People just kinda give up on their lunches at that point and run away... Which I thought I read somewhere that you aren't supposed to run when you see a bear, that you are supposed to curl up into a ball or something. Funny humans.

So I did finally lose my job at Hooters. The found out I was visiting my Mom's momma in prison and doing shows for the guards for tips and they didn't like it.
So speaking of prison, it's actually pretty damn cool! I get my own bed and everything! I normally have to share it with my Mom and Dad, but this way, its my own space! The guards are dicks, but I guess that's unavoidable. But the inmates, apart from a few of them, most of them are just normal, everyday people. Well, they give me turkey and chicken and stuff so that's a plus.

Okay, so except for those ones... hehe.

So, yesterday it was a really really hot day. At least for me, it was. I've got this gorgeous coat that I have to wear all day. I've asked Mom and Dad for more than a Brazilian when they take me to the vet, but they never listen. I've never gotten more tips than when.... ok ok, I'll hush it up, lol. Man, I miss my job at Hooters. I'm going to see if I can get it back.

Aaaaaaaandddd I'm offfffff!

Thursday, February 3, 2011

February is Here!

February is here! February is here!

This is probably my favorite month of them all! The weather is still nice and cold, so there's lots of snuggles and garages (I'll explain this in a moment), but since the holidays are over, so no ones comin' over, and Mom and Dad aren't going anywheres. Perfect for me and my schemes!

I was hanging out yesterday evening, and Dad had his blanket thing going on. Now a garage is when Daddy tents the blanket and lets me crawl inside and get nice warm cuddles and snuggles. Trust me, it makes sense if you were to see it. I usually cuddle with him for awhile, but then, when he least expects it, I get outta there. I like to mix things up a bit. Me? Predictable? NEVER! Sometimes I sit on the outside of the blanket and meow at him to make him think I really want in, but I DON'T! And when he tries to let me in, I show no interest in it at all. Because that's how I roll.

So yeah, not to get off track or anything. I just wanted to share that with you guys. Humans are the most gullible creatures I think I've ever met. They assume so much about animals, even though animals never talk to them. My Mom is a little on the nutty side about this. She even uses a voice for me... a voice for ME!? That's insane! I'm not as cookie cutter simple as she makes me out to be! I'm Feria! Captain Feria of the Turkey of the Sea! Now some of the stuff she says is interpretation, meaning that I do say and feel alot of the stuff she says. But I don't sing as much as she says I do, and I certainly don't say "I love you" as much as she says that I do. And I don't say "thank you", either! "Thank you", is a human word, a human concept. I don't understand it, and I probably never will. "Thank you" basically means, "Give me more" to me anyways, so why not just say "give me more"? Makes no sense to me. Anyways, let me tell you about my day today.

Today was an interesting day.

I got to spend the day with: Jackman!

More to come... later!

Friday, January 21, 2011

Tying Up Loose Ends

Hello, my followers! I have an update for you, as I said I would! So without further adieu, here we go!

For some time now, I have been waiting for my moment to strike. I think of the time spent wasted on my other adventures. Fun, and interesting places I have gone and seen, but this whole time, there has been a squirrel on the loose.
A super evil squirrel too. Nothing that cute can be good.
He must die for this.
Alone, I know not what to do.
But this time, I've got a whole crew of pirates at my disposal.
But wait, let me backtrack for a moment. We never did have resolution to my last adventure.

So yes, my crew and I were on the heels of the Sea Shephards. We were ready to drop those whale huggers to the bottom of the sea. Unfortunately, word had gotten back to the rest of the world of our exploits, and sadly, the Navy was not pleased. Any of them, but we happened to get the Russian Navy. Some time later, before we caught up with the Sea Shephards, we were closed in on by the Russian Navy, and had our boat confiscated, and were taken back to the US. Awesomely, because we weren't human, there is no punishment for piracy done by animals, so we were free to go. I figure, hey, we can probably get into more trouble on land than on the sea anyways, so they all came to live with me. Now, Mom and Dad don't know about this, but they are the ones living upstairs that Daddy complains about constantly. Daddy says he wants to stop on the ceiling in his boots. He really dislikes the upstairs noise. Well, that's my crew. I've been able to crawl out the window and up one of the trees at night to go and be with them, so will soon be ready to strike. Maybe now that I have Vicious Frank on my crew, Frank the Neighbor will trust me. One can only hope. But that's my plan, anyways.

Now being home, things have seemed to settle down some. I got my job at Hooters back. For some reason, guys really like hairy boobs, and well, I've got 6 of them. So I make pretty good money just in tips alone. I thought about getting Neptunes Revenge a job with me, but I figured that it would just be someone to steal my tips away, and well, we can't have that. Dad hates the fact I work there. He's tried to call and have me quit several times so far. But I told the manager that hes a senile relative, so the manager just disregards the calls. Now he thinks I just work at Starbucks, so it works out. I've got an avid tipper that always gives me Starbucks gift cards. I think he may be in love with me or something. Whatever it is you humans do. One day I was getting ready for work, and Mom caught me.

So now, I'm grounded again. Not fun. I want to go out and wreak havoc in this fine community. So for now, I guess that's all. Since I'm grounded though, I imagine I will have more time to write, lolz. We will see. I think its time to get our card game together, and I'm sure beyond any doubt that Frank my Neighbor, will be sure to come.

Ta ta for now!

A Small Update!

Hi everyone! I've been meaning to do this for some time. Mommy has been totally uncooperative, spending all of her time playing on her new computer, so I've been left trying to type on an invisible laptop, which is no easy feat, I tell ya! Kinda hard to type when you can't even see they keyboard, let alone play Chess on it! Anyways!

After much thought, I have decided to try and find my way back to square one. Scary square. No no, just kidding! It's actually quite a fun square. It's back to basics now. I never did do anything about that pesky Frank, and I've been asked on multiple occasion if I was planning on doing anything about him. So I decided to do so. Finally. So after much waiting, I should deliver. Finally.